My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing! I'm not a fatalist, but even if I were, what could I do about it? Demon free since '79 Necrophiliacs are people too Be sure to practice safe sex (the 5-second rule) Updated every second of every day that the library is open thank you for being a mammal Wake up and smell the coffin I have a love for animals that's almost illegal signs point to YES I'm a great lover, I bet Thank you for not being Hitler I used to play trombone but I let it slide Thank you for probing my cyber-space Signs point to "yes" Thank you for not being Godzilla I'm QUITE handy with the ladies Thank you for being my friend Please don't touch anything Lick the screen. Go on. Lick it! You'll be popular. Taking a porn break, are we? If you can read this, you're too close to thanking a teacher A man, a plan, a canal: Emo Philips! God is watching you . . . or at least has that option You are visitor number 542,837 . . . to ME